satire – LM Expressions

Viewpoint: Thoughts on Personal Finance

After reading about the collapse in the highly ambiguous industry of digital currency, I thought I would share my two cents on personal finance that comes from the middle-class lay-person’s point of view:

Rule for Risky or Experimental investment:

Do not invest more than what you can afford to lose.

This means after paying for monthly expenses, paying off your credit card, loan repayments, mortgage etc., after setting aside savings for retirement and for a rainy day, whatever remains is the money for risky ventures.

If that amount is a thousand dollars, then that is the amount you can afford to lose without affecting your present or future financial security. If what remains is zero dollars then that is the amount available for risky ventures.

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Essay

Word Makeover — Polyamorous Relationship

Promiscuity gets a Glamorous Makeover

The word ‘promiscuity’ seems to have gotten yet another makeover. Last time it was called ‘open relationship’. This time, it got glammed up as ‘polyamorous relationship’. I do think this sounds way glamorous than ‘open relationship’, which frankly sounds a little on the nose.

Let us try to understand the term. The word ‘poly’ means many or multiple and the word ‘amorous’ means horny or lustful. Therefore, the word ‘polyamorous’ could mean ‘multiple-horniness’, which I am hoping would be the next new word for promiscuity. If horniness multiplies itself constantly, then there is no time to commit to an earnest relationship. So, let’s drop the word relationship, because that word seems redundant. So the word is polyamorous.

Continue reading “Word Makeover — Polyamorous Relationship” →

Ramblings on a Word

Ramblings on a Word – God

Resurrection, St.George Church, Edappally, Kochi — Image by Shelly Paul

A monologue with God because dialogue seems impossible

God – The Omnipotent, Omnipresent, benevolent creator of this world

Hello God,
I have heard so much about You, growing up. I hear You are a kind, benevolent, just and fair God, although I am not sure if that was the case when You tested Abraham’s faith.

By the way, I am not here to discuss the Bible. I want to talk to You about money. Why do You need so much money? Why does The Almighty, who created this universe in a week, with a day to spare, need so much of his favorite creation’s legal tender? Continue reading “Ramblings on a Word – God” →

Ramblings on a Word

Ramblings on a word – Polytheism

palimpset-shop window/Shelly Paul — Image by Shelly Paul

Polytheism – worship of multiple gods.

When the people of Macondo¹ saw an actor die in a movie and reappear as a completely different character in another movie, they decided they, “…would not tolerate that outlandish fraud and they broke up the seats.”

But, we are not some primitive people from the fictitious Macondo, we are modern people who live on the, ‘Information Highway’. We know intellectually, that movies are commercial ventures made possible by modern technology, built by a large crew of invisible people with the actors being the only visible part of that venture. We know in our minds that actors are people, who portray scripted characters, as navigated by the director.

These actors are nothing like the fantastic characters they play on the screen. They are ordinary people, just like you and me. Yet, somehow seeing them up-close, smiling at us – not straight at the camera, but at me, the movie-goer – inviting us into their homes, into their lives, into marvelous worlds of fantasy and magic, sharing with us their travails and their triumphs, somehow tug at our heart-strings, making us believe in the impossible, just like when we were little children wishing for magic. Continue reading “Ramblings on a word – Polytheism” →

Ramblings on a Word

Ramblings on a word – Wheel

Wheel – A circular object that makes locomotion possible

I am sure many of you would have learnt in school, how the wheel was invented by the MAN.

Being a woman, having observed how men think, here is the revised edition of that story:
First of all, the caveman could not have invented the wheel. He would have been too scared and hungry to have a cogent thought in his underdeveloped brain, not to mention the fact that the tangled jungle floor would have made for treacherously bumpy rides.

The necessity for transportation would have come up when our ancestors moved into villages and began farming.

The village headman saw four men carry around a plank full of things and decided it was time for automation. Continue reading “Ramblings on a word – Wheel” →

Essay

What does Google share with India’s Communist Party?

Few months ago I moved my blog from Blogger to WordPress. The reason being my old blog disappeared from Google search altogether. For no particular reason it simply vanished.

So I did some research and I was asked to verify the website using Google webmaster tools. I followed all the instructions, but the site simply could not be verified. It was quite vexing because Blogger is Google’s own product and I simply assumed, that it would measure up their own standards.

Somehow that was not the case and my blog could not be verified as a legitimate website. After a few frustrating days, I made the decision I have been putting off for a while and moved the blog to WordPress, where I should say it is doing pretty well. The site has been verified by Google, Bing and other social networking sites. Of course Twitter doesn’t verify you until you are a VIP (‘commoners, peasants, shoo, shoo, away’). Continue reading “What does Google share with India’s Communist Party?” →

Essay

Viewpoint – “Father of the Nation”

When I saw the statue of Mr.Gandhi being unveiled in London’s parliament square; Mr.Cameroon giving a speech to mark the occasion while sharing the stage with India’s number one celebrity Mr.Amithab Bachchan, the ludicrousness of it all became unbearable. So I thought it was time I explained to the younger generation why Mr.Gandhi is the father of India.

Mr.Gandhi is the father our nation because he was the only leader who went through untold suffering while leading the masses to freedom.

Being one to shun the spotlight, he decided that he would leave politics as soon as his beloved nation was granted freedom by the Colonial British. In comparison, Mr. Nelson Mandela Continue reading “Viewpoint – “Father of the Nation”” →

Stories

Nation Dysfunction – The Magnanimous Minority

When the economy began to self-destruct, the government of the nation of Dystopia took drastic actions to mitigate the catastrophe. It resorted to well touted austerity measures.

A majority of government funds were diverted from various departments to stem the financial hemorrhage, which resulted in a budget crunch. Since a balanced budget is paramount, after much deliberation marked by tormented debates and emotionally charged discussions, the elected members to the parliament decided with a heavy heart to stop funding essential services to the public.

Since the public needed these services at any cost, the government made the inevitable decision to privatize core government services. Everything, from schools to prisons, was contracted out to private entities. To pay the private contractors, taxes were raised on the majority of the population. The billionaires and the zillionaires were shielded from any tax increase, since Continue reading “Nation Dysfunction – The Magnanimous Minority” →

Stories

Planet Primitive – Neutralization

balinesecouple/Shelly Paul — Image by Shelly Paul

….while, on Planet Primitive, in the nation of Dysfunction, it was the year 140 BTLM(Before The Lone Man). A hundred thousand men had gathered in the nation’s capital to protest the passing of a bill into law.

The throng of protesters gathered around the parliament building spilled on to the adjacent street, flowing to the other end where the wrought iron fence surrounded the Presidential palace.

The protesters chanted slogans and banged on the fence from time to time, expressing discontent. The placards and banners they held cried out the deplorable state of men in the matriarchal nation of Dysfunction. Any minute now the parliament would finish voting on the ‘Neutralization Bill’. The air was thick with tension.

Within the compounds of the Parliament and the Palace stood a barricade of the Women’s Elite Police force, armed with taser and guns, ready to go off at the slightest provocation. A tall wrought iron fence separated the mob from the police. The clamor was growing, the police tense, and braced for the uproar. Continue reading “Planet Primitive – Neutralization” →

Rule for Risky or Experimental investment:

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Satire — When Religion meets Reason

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Promiscuity gets a Glamorous Makeover

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A monologue with God because dialogue seems impossible

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